A Crudely Altered Photo of Aroldis Chapman

Aroldis

By now, the early minutes of the second hour of the twenty-second day of the third month of the year 2014, anyone who would so choose to see the Instagrammed photo of Aroldis Chapman’s new cranial adornment (see: staples) has seen the Instagrammed photo of Aroldis Chapman’s new cranial adornment (see, still: staples).

Upon viewing said adornment, that same anyone surely thought, in immediate reaction, some variation of the words “Ew,” and “Gross,” or “Aww,” and “Now I’m even more sad than I was a few seconds ago.”

I, at least, thought those things, which is the reason for this:

Aroldis Glasscock

See? Those were never staples dissecting the landscape of Chapman’s skull. They were but a couple of baseball cards! Baseball cards which feature the admirable likeness of former Indianapolis Hoosiers infielder/captain Jack Glasscock, no less!

The world was, is, and forever will remain a terrible and beautiful place.

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About Joshua Allen-Worrell

Joshua Allen-Worrell is a very part-time writer. He did not graduate from the University of Virginia with a degree in economics in 1989. He did, however, poop in a diaper that year. Josh is a fan of the Atlanta Braves and the name Zoilo Almonte. He often makes tweets as @oldseacaptain.
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