By now, the early minutes of the second hour of the twenty-second day of the third month of the year 2014, anyone who would so choose to see the Instagrammed photo of Aroldis Chapman’s new cranial adornment (see: staples) has seen the Instagrammed photo of Aroldis Chapman’s new cranial adornment (see, still: staples).
Upon viewing said adornment, that same anyone surely thought, in immediate reaction, some variation of the words “Ew,” and “Gross,” or “Aww,” and “Now I’m even more sad than I was a few seconds ago.”
I, at least, thought those things, which is the reason for this:
See? Those were never staples dissecting the landscape of Chapman’s skull. They were but a couple of baseball cards! Baseball cards which feature the admirable likeness of former Indianapolis Hoosiers infielder/captain Jack Glasscock, no less!
The world was, is, and forever will remain a terrible and beautiful place.
Most Valuable Zobrist 
