Monthly Archives: May 2014

#BARVES (or, An Example Which Is the Real and True Essence of the Hashtag)

Last night, the Braves committed three errors in a single game which resulted in a walk-off loss to complete a sweep by a team that had previously lost ten straight games. The Braves are still in first place. #BARVES

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Events of Rare Occurrence Deserve Celebration: Ben Revere Edition

Ben Revere hit a home run yesterday, which seems like something that could only happen in a dream or another dimension of reality in which Ben Revere hits home runs more frequently than once every 1,556 plate appearances. The above … Continue reading

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A Recap of the Braves Game (Within the Grander Scheme of Things, Really)

RECAP: Braves #, Other Team # MM/DD/YY It doesn’t matter because death continues to wait patiently for its inevitable meeting with everything you know and love.

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Regarding Jon Heyman’s Thoughts on Miguel Olivo and Cannibalism

Last night, Albuquerque Isotopes teammates Miguel Olivo and Alex Guerrero found themselves in a pretty standard-among-gentlemen-type scuffle in which Olivo bit off part of Guerrero’s ear. Surprising? No. This is triple-A baseball, after all. The removal-by-teeth of some ear parts … Continue reading

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In Which Bill McCool Becomes Trill MC Cool

The above photo identifies Trill MC Cool as a pitcher, but it fails to inform its viewer that the items he pitches are sick rhymes. It is the understanding of this author that the word trill is a portmanteau, made from the … Continue reading

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About the Record, and What It Shows

Let the record show that this author is quite impressed (see: stunned, floored, slack in the jaw) with Spencer Hall’s review of Willie McGee. Let it (i.e., the record) make clear that, in six months or two years, when I … Continue reading

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A Poem About Bud Selig’s Thighs

They are plains on which men go to war, not over the flimsy notion of boundary, nor something so picayune as moral principle. Instead they battle for the purpose of everything, which is to battle on the plains that are … Continue reading

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The Braves Have Lost Six Straight Games, and I Hate It and Think It’s Stupid

The Braves, notable baseball team from Atlanta, lost their sixth straight game yesterday. The loss confirmed a sweep of the Braves by way of San Francisco’s Giants – who are not giants, but regular-sized men who play baseball for the San … Continue reading

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