The Braves Have Lost Six Straight Games, and I Hate It and Think It’s Stupid

The Braves, notable baseball team from Atlanta, lost their sixth straight game yesterday. The loss confirmed a sweep of the Braves by way of San Francisco’s Giants – who are not giants, but regular-sized men who play baseball for the San Francisco club. This sweep at the hands of regular-sized Giants comes immediately following a sweep by the Miami Marlins – who are not marlins, but land-dwelling men who play baseball for the Miami club.

Atlanta has lost six games in consecutive order, and my feelings regarding this sequence of events are best summarized as: I hate it, and I think it’s stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’m never going to watch baseball again and I hope all of the Braves players just quit and do something at which they’re better than playing baseball, which probably includes everything.

Of course, before this streak began – when the Braves had won five of six games, including using their own broom to sweep the Cincinnati Reds, I would have said something like, “Nana-nana boo-boo, your team is poo poo. The Braves are the best, (fart noise).”

So goes April and May. At this point, the season is still young enough to make us pay too much attention to things that are easy to overlook in August. There is a lot of time left for things to change. For instance, Colorado’s Charlie Blackmon probably won’t finish the year with a .398 batting average. We probably won’t have eight hitters finish with isolated power rates of .300 or greater. Perhaps, maybe, and even the Atlanta Braves might win another baseball game.

As of right now, Atlanta is still a first place team.  They probably aren’t as good as their 17-7 start to the season suggested, and they definitely aren’t as bad as their 0-6 streak currently suggests. They lead all of baseball in team ERA, yet the offense has combined for a .294 on-base percentage. Nobody better represents the silliness of extremes the Braves have experienced than pitcher Alex Wood, who has recorded a game score of 65 or greater in four of his seven starts, yet has a 2-5 record. The starting pitching will surely regress, but the offense should also get better.

May will be a difficult month. The Braves have road trips to San Francisco, St. Louis, Boston, and Miami. The Marlins aren’t a particularly threatening bunch, but they have a miraculous 14-5 record in their home stadium, and a 2-10 record everywhere else. The only real reason for authoring all of these words, though, is to emphasize that hardly enough baseball has been played to draw any real conclusions. Atlanta could enter June in first place (PLEASE), or last. Either way, it will only be June.

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About Joshua Allen-Worrell

Joshua Allen-Worrell is a very part-time writer. He did not graduate from the University of Virginia with a degree in economics in 1989. He did, however, poop in a diaper that year. Josh is a fan of the Atlanta Braves and the name Zoilo Almonte. He often makes tweets as @oldseacaptain.
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