A Poem About Bud Selig’s Thighs


They are plains
on which men go to war,
not over the flimsy notion of boundary,
nor something so picayune as moral principle.
Instead they battle for the purpose of everything, which is
to battle on the plains that are Bud Selig’s thighs.

They are the physical etymology of the word swoon.

The commish chooses, mostly,
from his collection of like drindls
unnoticed by us low-lifes,
whose perceptions are bound to the code of senses which states, clearly,
Too Much of a Good Thing Is a Bad Thing
(regarding the thighs [see: sexual landscapes] of Comm. Allan Huber “Bud” Selig).

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