Regarding Jon Heyman’s Thoughts on Miguel Olivo and Cannibalism

Last night, Albuquerque Isotopes teammates Miguel Olivo and Alex Guerrero found themselves in a pretty standard-among-gentlemen-type scuffle in which Olivo bit off part of Guerrero’s ear. Surprising? No. This is triple-A baseball, after all. The removal-by-teeth of some ear parts is not at all noteworthy. What is noteworthy, however, is the person who owns the teeth in question. CBS’ Jon Heyman (a very rich and powerful man who writes about baseball with great influence) has the story:

There it is, reader. Miguel Olivo has never behaved in such a manner to suggest the thought, “You know, that guy is going to bite somebody’s ear off someday.” Had it been Kyle Farnsworth or Carlos Zambrano, perhaps Heyman’s tweet would have read, “CALLED IT. I CAN SPOT A FUTURE EAR-EATER FROM A HUNDRED YARDS OUT.”

In the spirit of Heyman’s HOT TAKE, I’ve compiled a brief list of players and non-players who would not surprise Jon and me (both) by biting off a teammate’s ear:

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