3 More Players Who Won’t Be Dealt at MLB’s Trade Deadline

Trout Derp

Earlier today, SB Nation published a list of 10 players who won’t be dealt at MLB’s trade deadline.

I’ll present you, reader, with a truth about blog post ideas and the relationship between creators and copycats of blog post ideas (same): It is rather difficult to create a decent idea for a blog post. It is, however, rather easy to copy another person’s idea for a blog post.

A similar truth, now, about lists and the relationship with creators and adders-on of lists (same): It is rather difficult to create a decent list. It is, however, rather easy to add on to another person’s list.

In holding, perhaps at a level so high as spiritual, with such truths, Most Valuable Zobrist will publish its own (read: add to SB Nation’s) list of players (3) who won’t be dealt at MLB’s trade deadline.

1. (or 11.) Mike Trout, OF, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Trout is the best player in baseball, and he’s under team control for a majority of the next decade at a price which, compared to his on-field value, is unreasonably low. One must imagine a trade of the most unrealistic extremes to imagine a deal that makes it worth trading Trout.

2. (or 12.) Rusty Sparklecranz, 2B, Duluth Photographers

Sparklecranz almost certainly will not be traded at the deadline, as Sparklecranz is almost certainly not a real human being. If Rusty Sparklecranz is, contrary to the present author’s expectations, a real human being, consider the following a.) congratulations on being you, Rusty Sparklecranz, and b.) he is most certainly not a second baseman for the Duluth Photographers.

3. (or 13.) Mo Vaughn, 1B/DH, Boston Red Sox

Mo Vaughn will definitely not be traded away from the Boston Red Sox at this year’s deadline, as it is 2014, and the last year Mo Vaughn played for the Boston Red Sox at the MLB trade deadline was 1998. While we’re here, though, note a couple of surprising (subjectively, I suppose) items taken from Vaughn’s Baseball-Reference page:

  • In between playing for the Red Sox and Mets, Vaughn spent two somewhat decent years in Anaheim. I have, in my present possession, a Starting Lineup action figure of Vaughn in a Red Sox uniform and fuzzy memories of the same Vaughn wearing a New York Mets cap. I do not have, however, any such action figures or memories which recall Mo Vaughn as an Angel of Anaheim.
  • He won the 1995 AL MVP and hit 328 home runs. Not bad, Mo.

About Joshua Allen-Worrell

Joshua Allen-Worrell is a very part-time writer. He did not graduate from the University of Virginia with a degree in economics in 1989. He did, however, poop in a diaper that year. Josh is a fan of the Atlanta Braves and the name Zoilo Almonte. He often makes tweets as @oldseacaptain.
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