About the two men pictured above, certain truths are absolute:
- They are, physically, precisely identical.
- They share the morally superior middle-name “Sundberg.”
- They were both living in Cheektowaga, New York when the storm of 1977 hit, and both lived through the blizzard by way of an intricate beans rationing system. However, neither one was aware of the other’s presence in Cheektowaga, New York during the storm of 1977.
Given the above truths, it is entirely reasonable should one convince oneself that these are not two men at all. Rather, one might convince oneself, they are very obviously one single entity. Well, listen up, oneself. You are wrong, and thus you are a muttonhead.
The man in the top photo is Lucas Simms, who is the sheriff and also the mayor of Fallout 3’s Megaton. For reasons obvious, he wears a baseball uniform and poses for photographs as a pitcher come set.
The man in the bottom photo is Lucas Sims, who is a pitching prospect in the Atlanta Braves organization. He entered the season ranked as baseball’s 64th best prospect by Baseball Prospectus. For reasons obvious, he wears the uniform of a cartoon cowboy and carries a large, futuristic weapon across his back.