Tag Archives: #BARVES

Lucas Sims and Lucas Simms: Alike, but Different

About the two men pictured above, certain truths are absolute: They are, physically, precisely identical. They share the morally superior middle-name “Sundberg.” They were both living in Cheektowaga, New York when the storm of 1977 hit, and both lived through the … Continue reading

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Notes on the Kimbrel Trade (Happy Opening Day, I Guess)

Isn’t Opening Day great? Doesn’t each aural occurrence of ball meeting bat in that first game make you increasingly warm from head to toe? Is there anything better than ogling perfectly dressed high socks in a game that actually means something? Opening … Continue reading

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J.E. Gattis and the Quest for Strength

J.E. Gattis went to the woods, but not because he wished to live deliberately. That is something a transcendentalist poet would do, and the only thing J.E. Gattis hates more than a transcendentalist poet is every other type of poet. “Poetry is … Continue reading

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A Brief Think Piece Regarding Andrelton Simmons’ Throwing Arm

Andrelton Simmons has a fantastic throwing arm, and I think I like it.

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Evan Gattis Is on the Disabled List, and All Humans Are Ants

Evan Gattis is on the disabled list. Humans are ants traveling to and from their anthills motivated by an imaginary purpose that ends up the same as everything else, which is to suggest that the final sum of everything we … Continue reading

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A List of People Mike Minor Would Eagerly Strike Out, If Given the Chance

Today was supposed to be a simple day. It was to be a morning of finding Danzig lyrics which are also explanations of José Abreu; an afternoon of honest review regarding the online purchase of Adult Costume President Lincoln Stove … Continue reading

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#BARVES (or, An Example Which Is the Real and True Essence of the Hashtag)

Last night, the Braves committed three errors in a single game which resulted in a walk-off loss to complete a sweep by a team that had previously lost ten straight games. The Braves are still in first place. #BARVES

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A Recap of the Braves Game (Within the Grander Scheme of Things, Really)

RECAP: Braves #, Other Team # MM/DD/YY It doesn’t matter because death continues to wait patiently for its inevitable meeting with everything you know and love.

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The Braves Have Lost Six Straight Games, and I Hate It and Think It’s Stupid

The Braves, notable baseball team from Atlanta, lost their sixth straight game yesterday. The loss confirmed a sweep of the Braves by way of San Francisco’s Giants – who are not giants, but regular-sized men who play baseball for the San … Continue reading

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iOOTP Baseball 2014 Edition, Reviewed (An Exercise in Turning Evan Gattis Into a Real, Not Fake Monster)

Important: iOOTP Baseball 2014 Edition is now available for iOS. Each previous version of the game has been my favorite iOS app until replaced by the next, and early experiences suggest the same for 2014. A reviewer who is also a … Continue reading

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