Tag Archives: #BARVES

A Short Poem Regarding the Imminent Decline of Aaron Harang

Aaron Harang is a journeyman. His slider, perhaps, a talisman. But he’ll soon give up a home run, man. Then he’ll give up 58 more.

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A Summary of J.E. Gattis, the Eternal Cavalier

It would be reasonable, should one suggest that “Rowdy” is the middle name of J.E. Gattis. A word which appropriately describes his moral compass is “unique.” He is surely the living death of American pietism. For two jugs of wine and a … Continue reading

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A Quote By Robert Frost Regarding James Evan Gattis

Poetry is when Evan Gattis’ bat has found its baseball and the baseball has found outer space.

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An Interview With Jordan Walden, or Life in the Woods

Posted below is an entirely fictional conversation between an equally fictional interviewer and Atlanta Braves relief pitcher Jordan Walden. The questions asked are not real, and because there are no real questions, there can be no real answers. Such is … Continue reading

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A Reader’s Guide to Evan Gattis’ Trademark Thickness

It has been said, by my fiancé, about Evan Gattis: “He has a trademark thickness about him.” Boy, does he! It is a thickness that does not move mountains, because that is only a silly idiom. Evan Gattis’ Thickness™ does … Continue reading

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