Tag Archives: MLB

Being a Braves Fan, The Process™, and Fun in Sports

Let’s talk about why sports exist. As most of you know, sports were born from the Altoona Conference of 1849, mere weeks after the Mighty Men of Earth, history’s most reverential band of brothers, united from 62 countries to fend off … Continue reading

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Mighty Snoop Dogg at the Bat: A Viewer’s Instruction Manual

Do not allow yourself to simply look at this wonderful photo taken by USA Today Sports’ Frank Victores. Rather, oblige yourself to marvel at it. If you can, take out your ol’ eyeballs and set them down in the direct viewing … Continue reading

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Notes on the Kimbrel Trade (Happy Opening Day, I Guess)

Isn’t Opening Day great? Doesn’t each aural occurrence of ball meeting bat in that first game make you increasingly warm from head to toe? Is there anything better than ogling perfectly dressed high socks in a game that actually means something? Opening … Continue reading

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Regarding the Wikipedia Page of Sweetbread Bailey

Regarding the Wikipedia page of Sweetbread Bailey, these four wonderful things: Abraham Lincoln “Sweetbread” or simply “Shortbread” Brooklyn Robins

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A Farewell to (Impossibly Strong) Arms: Notes on the Evan Gattis Trade

Right now, it is 11:49 PM, Central Standard Time, on January 14, 2015. I am trying to write the words “Evan Gattis is a Houston Astro,” which means I am also hoping desperately for a sudden moment of realization that … Continue reading

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Hunter Pence, Eventually

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A Consideration of Candidates for the Position of Atlanta Braves General Manager

Frank Wren is no longer the general manager of the Atlanta Braves. It’s a bit odd, as general managers tend to have pretty great job security, and Wren’s tenure saw the club make the playoffs three times and sign most of its young, talented … Continue reading

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The Fifty-First Section of Whitman’s Song of Myself, Slightly Amended to Include Jumbo Diaz of the Cincinnati Reds

The past and present wilt—I have fill’d them, emptied them. And proceed to fill my next fold of the future. Listener up there! what have you to confide to me? Look in my face while I snuff the sidle of … Continue reading

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DARVISH COULD OF BEEN LESS OF A PUSSY ABOUT ELBOWGATE

The following is an estimate, made by the present author, of the piece ESPN Dallas wishes they’d ran on Yu Darvish. This dumb effort did not *actually* appear at ESPNDallas.com, as made evident by its superior quality. Note this and this, rather, which are … Continue reading

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Rollie Fingers Has Gazed Into the Abyss and Emerged Unchanged

Rollie Fingers has gazed into the abyss and emerged unchanged. Consider the act of approaching a single door at the end of a tight, bare hallway, and opening the door to find only another, and then but another, and so on … Continue reading

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